Monday, February 26, 2007

New book

To help get you in the mood for golf in 2007, enclosed is a special offer:

Just finished writing my new book on golf that I believe gives the reader valuable playing tips and insider information that I have gained through my 25 years of experience.

The cost is only $29.95 and can be ordered by simply sending Jake an email with the appropriate credit card info. (see below) It is a great price considering the wealth of information you'll receive.

Scroll down and check out the Table of Contents

Check one: ___ VISA ___ Master Card ___ Discover ___ American Express

Don't wait until they're all gone!!!


TABLE OF CONTENTS:

CHAPTER 1 HOW TO PROPERLY LINE UP YOUR FOURTH PUTT

CHAPTER 2 HOW TO HIT A NIKE FROM THE ROUGH WHEN YOU HIT A TITLEIST FROM THE TEE

CHAPTER 3 HOW TO AVOID THE WATER WHEN YOU LIE 8 IN A BUNKER

CHAPTER 4 HOW TO GET MORE DISTANCE OFF YOUR SHANK

CHAPTER 5 WHEN TO GIVE THE RANGER THE FINGER

CHAPTER 6 USING YOUR SHADOW ON THE GREENS TO MAXIMIZE EARNINGS

CHAPTER 7 WHEN TO IMPLEMENT HANDICAP MANAGEMENT

CHAPTER 8 PROPER EXCUSES FOR DRINKING BEER BEFORE 9A.M.

CHAPTER 9 HOW TO RATIONALIZE A 6 HOUR ROUND

CHAPTER 10 HOW TO FIND THE BALL THAT EVERYONE ELSE SAW GO IN THE WATER

CHAPTER 11 WHY YOUR SPOUSE DOESN'T CARE THAT YOU BIRDIED THE 5TH

CHAPTER 12 HOW TO LET A FOURSOME PLAY THROUGH YOUR TWOSOME

CHAPTER 13 HOW TO RELAX WHEN YOU ARE HITTING THREE OFF THE TEE

CHAPTER 14 WHEN TO SUGGEST MAJOR SWING CORRECTIONS TO YOUR OPPONENT

CHAPTER 15 GOD AND THE MEANING OF THE BIRDIE-TO-BOGEY THREE PUTT

CHAPTER 16 WHEN TO REGRIP YOUR BALL RETRIEVER

CHAPTER 17 CAN YOU PURCHASE A BETTER GOLF GAME

CHAPTER 18 WHY MALE GOLFERS WILL PAY $5.00 A BEER FROM THE CART GIRL AND GIVEHER A $3 TIP, BUT BALK AT $3.50 A BEER AT THE 19TH HOLE AND STIFF THE BARTENDER.
Order Now!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Tee Time!

Jake: From a distance..... Fore!

Keith: Damn it! Jake hit into me again. What a prick. The only reason I play with him is it gives him less opportunities for him to hit me when I'm playing in his foursome.

Dick: That putt's good Tom. Pick it up. (Dick is secretly thinking....I hope these dumb asses never figure out why I give more putts than Anna Nicole gives cleavage shots.....never mind - that dream is dead. My slice putting can't stand the pressure of constant 2 foot testers.)

Tom: Mac, since you're done first - pick the flag up for once. MAC! MAC! Forget it I'll get it.

Mac: I ever tell you about the time I plugged up a hot tub with body hair in Chillicothe?

Keith, Dick, Tom: NO! Don't want to hear it Mac.